Abby T's Dreamscape
Abby petals feelings surrounding the experiences of love, or lack thereof. Whether she’s experienced them or quickly eavesdropped on lusty gossip from friends' past experiences, it will undoubtedly drift into the music. The Baltimore-born artist is able to scope out her dreamscape in a unique way, one that has caught the eyes of Ebro, radio host and DJ of Beats 1 and HOT 97's radio station.
Like Ebro, anyone who’s encountered Abby's cherubic voice and ethereal soundscape surely has her charred into their memory.
You've been doing music for a while and you've always taken music seriously, but it seems there was a shift that happened recently where you're catapulting into your career and you're taking it a lot more seriously. What provoked that shift?
So I moved to New York about three years ago now. And the first two years, I just was performing around New York. And, like, word of mouth is so powerful. So there was such an emphasis on my performance and it was kind of like a domino effect. And then I took some time and spent some time abroad in Berlin. And that was kind of like a really great creative break because I got to just explore who I am, what I want to do next, who I want to be, who I want to be seen as, all of that kind of stuff.
And then I came back and I started DJ-ing and that was also really great for me because I feel like it was still a way that I could be creatively and artistically engaged. But then COVID happened and all the COVID closures happened, and then I really had a solid two weeks where I did nothing. Like I just stayed on the couch, stayed in my bed, all of that. And that when I was like, 'Okay, this is like a really great block of time that I could take advantage of, and just really start working.' I kind of felt like I was stagnant up to that point, artistically. It just felt time. It felt like the right time for movement. So I started working with this management company called "SMG EMT." And I had worked with the founder, his name's Anwar Sawyer, and he's an amazing producer. And so we'd had sessions before COVID, and we did a song and it was called "High." And I just told him back in March, I was like, "I really want to release this and start working with you seriously." He was like, "I thought you'd never ask." And so all through quarantine, I was just sending recordings back and forth from my bedroom. I was like finishing up the song and then I shot like a whole other video on my roof with Jade's help and wearing Bailey's clothes, and I didn't like it. So then, I went back to Baltimore and shot the video with my friend. And yeah, it just felt like although 2020 has been very insane and unfortunate for so many people, it felt like it's still been a productive year.
Do you feel like when it comes to your creative craft or those experiences during sessions, you tend to isolate yourself, or do you think you tend to reach out to more people to help you with your vision?
I feel like I have really got a handle on delegating. I think that's such an important skill to develop as an artist. So I really enjoy reaching out to people, especially like my friends. Like I think that as a smaller artist, it's so easy to look at the finished products of all these established artists, people we listen to, and aspire to work with the people they're working with. And like, you're looking at their network and wondering how you can penetrate that scene, but in reality we have all of the tools that we need in our friends. That's how those people that we admire got there, it was the help of their friends. So I really have to realize that the network that I was so desperately wanting, I already had.
Who are some of the people that you can even look up to as a friend or you call on as a tool?
Yeah. I feel like my friend, his name is Michael Tan and he is the one who directed the "High" video. He's my high school best friend, like we used to make vlogs together and all these other things. And I so appreciate him because he's been so open throughout this process and we've made like three other videos together, and we're going to keep doing that. I feel like I've found like a really solid partnership with him. Also, Anwar Sawyer, he's been really great, like he's been managing me. And like, I can send him something any time of the day and he's like, "Nah, I don't like it." Or like, "This is good." And then my friend Imani Randolph, she's been really great. LikeNahe is an amazing model, but also stylist. And so, she has the best creative eye, and so that's been super helpful. And lastly, my friend Livy Wicks who is an amazing photographer and helped me shoot part of the next video that's coming out, "westxeast." I'm so grateful all of them.
So let's take a second to step back, before New York, when you were in Baltimore. When people grow up listening to music, It's usually like a reflection of what their parents listened to, but what was the first album that you independently loved all the way through? How has that shaped the music you make now?
So when I was a sophomore in high school, I really got into like singer-songwriter music. And I was so obsessed with Ed Sheeran. Like I went to one of his concerts, they were dead like 50 people there in Baltimore. And I fainted, like an ambulance had to come to pick me up. Plus, like that album, I thought he was a genius. I was like, the way I'm stumbling upon this genius, bro. I felt like he had such a clear artistic voice. And I could tell that he was talking to someone, and it clearly had meaning and substance. And it felt like this gem that no one else had heard because at that time the girls weren't talking about him. And then Tori Kelly, like this is what made me want to get into writing. Tori Kelly, Forward EP, And it was one of the first times that I saw a female artist who like produced all of her stuff, and like fully wrote everything. And I was like 'Okay, I want to be a songwriter.' And also Jhene Aiko's Sailing Souls EP, like it was only on YouTube. And that was also the first time where I heard a singer that was singing but her lyricism was nearing that of an MC's. And so I was like 'Wow, I really want to be able to tell a story and I want people to really listen to what I'm saying and uncover a story that's hidden beneath what I'm saying.'
Often times, artists have a system and an order to making music. What did that system look like when you first started making music and how has it changed and affected the sound of the music?
When I first started writing, I really was toplining a lot of "type beats" on YouTube. I would give myself 30 minutes and pick out five beats, and try to get like five songs done, five ideas out. And then, I started writing a song a day, which was really super tough because I felt like prior to that, ideas would just come to me and I would get it out. But, it would be like one idea a week, so I really had to be serious. I knew that writing was what I wanted to do and making music was what I wanted to do. So I knew that I had to kind of like train that muscle. And then, so now it really depends, like I can hear a beat first or I can start on the keys, but I find that recently I've been trying to start with the concept first, then develop the lyrics, and then add it to music. I think that something I always want to maintain is cohesiveness with everything that I'm doing and to always have a meaning. It just makes sense to me to make sure I refine the meaning or the concept of what I'm doing first and then move on to the music, or whatever it is.
And do you write from a memory or from an idea; something that you would love to one day experience?
Oh, that's — that's really, I actually have never written like that. That's really — Ooh, your brain.
That's what I do all day in my head. I just daydream all the time. So, if I were good at writing music, I would just be like, 'I wish this would happen, so I'm going to write it out as if it was happening.'
And then that's a manifestation, I'm like let me write that down! But I feel like I write from other people's experiences, like things that people have told me. Um, because I don't think I've had a ton of experience romantically. So I think I find myself pulling from either what I've heard or seen from movies. Like, so much TV, so much Love Island. Like I would write something based on something that I've seen.
And have you always been a little imaginative in that way?
Oh yes, in high school I wanted to be a writer. Like that's what I thought I was going to pursue in higher education. I read so many fan fictions in my adolescence, like One Direction, Justin Bieber, and August Alsina. I felt like I'm really just disappeared into my phone and my parents would complain like, "What are you reading?" And I was like, "Nothing." I think that really inspired an imaginative and creative spark.
And I noticed in your videos, specifically talking about your video that you have coming out for 'westxeast,' they're both very feminine. You bring a lot of feminine energy to your music. Is this a state of pursuance or is this something deep inside of you that you want to portray?
Whoa, that's actually crazy that you picked up on that because I do feel like it has been a reoccurring narrative as I've grown up. It's also another thing growing up as a Black woman, and as a Black woman with a darker complexion, I haven't always felt like I could be the girl that people pine after, or the girl of someone's dreams, really. And so I think that's a feeling that I'm always chasing, not only when I'm writing, but when I'm thinking of like visual treatments, and doing videos. When doing shoots, I always try to incorporate that dreamy, nostalgic type of feeling. I think that's something that I didn't get to experience growing up. Who knows? I still have time.
I feel like I can't relate in the sense that I try to portray myself as so feminine, but I instantly acknowledge that. And I was like, 'Oh, this is super feminine. Obviously, Abby is pretty feminine, but this is like pink, bubblegum, like Wonderland type shit. Like I never knew this side of Abby.' So I was wondering where that stemmed from.
Yeah, that's dope. Wow, because I think also I'm always watching romantic comedies or whatever. And I would never see myself in the main character. I always saw myself in the best friend or like the supporting character, because that's how I felt. And in middle school, I had so many crushes on like so many different people. And I would get close to those people and be like, 'Okay, they really like me. Like they think I'm funny. They think I'm this, they think I'm that.' And then they would tell me that they liked my best friend and that's the reason why they got close to me. It would be like all of these things. And I was like, 'Dang, like when do I get to be the main character? When is it my time?' So now I'm like, 'Okay, let me reclaim my time. I'll make myself my own main character.'
And doing that through music I'm sure is really helpful. I noticed in 'High,' it's like, yeah, you love me, but in a sense, there's a fatal flaw. And then also in 'westxeast,' it's kind of a star-crossed lovers type of situation. Like, you're playing with me. So, is that something that you see projected into your real life? That there's always a fatal flaw when it comes to love, and these men got to get their shit together?
Yeah. I feel like I have constantly been a means to an end or like a second option. And I sit there and I'm like, 'Dang, like I'm beautiful. I'm intelligent, creatively inclined, obviously great things going for me.' So I think it's me trying, I'm having this conversation with myself that I am enough. It's not me, and it's their loss. That's really important to say because now with social media and all of these outside influences, and all of these figures that we are now comparing ourselves to and trying to emulate. Like it's so easy to downplay your importance and your star factor, or whatever it may be. But I really am trying to actually practice self-care and self-importance, and that feeling of autonomy. And especially now, that's more important than ever.
So you use your music as words of affirmation to yourself, so you can truly become into your full higher self in a way?
Yes, definitely, something that my mum always would like drill into my mind as I was growing up was the importance of writing things down. I got so used to writing songs on my phone or whatever it may be, but now if I have a song, I will really seal it in and just rewrite the lyrics in a journal. And then, I feel like whenever I finished something and then have to move into stages, it takes on a new meaning at each stage of the process. So like, versus when I'm recording it, writing it, finishing it, I feel like it's forever taking on new meanings and recreating itself. And that's one of the most special things about music is you can find your way back to old songs and create new ideas from it.
In a way, you're creating this world of Abby T, and you want people to step in it. What do you want people to take from it?
What I gravitate toward the most in an artist is when they can really make me feel something, transport me to a whole other state of being or feeling with a song. And that's not to say specifically with the lyricism that it has to be this prolific, new, transcending thing. You could be talking about the most mundane thing, but I think you understand when the artist has a clear idea and intention for a song, and that definitely comes across.
And I think that's something that I'm always trying to incorporate with any of my music—that intense feeling. And I really enjoy over-exaggerating things as well. I think it's because I always got told that I was extra doing the most growing up, or like even now. And I think that's okay. I want people to know that it's okay to be extra and to take up that space. Because people really try to make you feel small and insignificant just to make them feel bigger, which is a whole messed up thing.
But I think that I want people to know, especially Black women, femme presenting people, and also including non-binary people: it's okay to be extra. It's okay to have your moment. If you're not going to have your moment, then who is? Like, who's going to do that for you?
