Ahead of Pride, Five Queer Voices Share What Prom Means to Them
Short for the word promenade, the night is modeled after the debutante balls of high society, which served as coming-of-age ceremonies for young women from wealthy families. Participating in a debutante ball meant a teenage girl was ready to be introduced to society and meet her future husband. Until the early 20th century, proms were reserved for male college students and their affluent families. In the 1920s, the traditional was democratized and transitioned to high schools where they became a much more casual and inclusive event for boys and girls on the brink of graduation. In the 1950s, prom became an integral part of every student’s high school experience.
For the queer community, particularly in places where queerness is met with hostility, prom often brings about moral dilemmas, anxiety, and residual questions like, "Am I allowed to go with my partner?," or "Will I be allowed to dress how I want?" However, we respond with a resounding, "Fuck your censorship!" Prom is meant to be a celebration, filled with music and dancing, a time for young people to feel like royalty. And what about that doesn't scream queer?
This pride, office sat down with five queer people to dress up and reflect on what prom means to them — from experiencing hostility to using prom as an opportunity to pull a look and dance their hearts out.
What's your name, age, and pronouns?
My name is Angel, I’m 23 years old and my pronouns are he/him.
How would you describe yourself?
I would describe myself as a very introverted person. There are a select few people who would say I talk too much, but that just means I am comfortable with you. I am trying to get better at being more talkative but I tend to observe first and then say my two cents.
What has prom traditionally represented in the queer community and how does it reflect society at large?
Prom is traditionally centered around heteronormative ideals, well at least from what the movies portray it as. There's usually always a prom queen and king but I think society has progressed past that now and I see more and more queer kids expressing themselves without judgment. To me, the idea of prom is just a silly celebration where you get to dress up/look cute, dance, and make memories. In high school I would have loved to have a boy accompany me as my date, but I had just as much of a fun time with my best friend.
How do you feel you truly express yourself in the world?
I express myself in this world by creating. I love expressing what is going through my mind with photos or my style. I don’t really speak much so I let my work speak for me.
What is authentic love to you?
Authentic love to me is being able to feel comfortable with whoever you are with and especially yourself. Love should never feel forced.
What drives your method of creation forward?
What pushes me to create is a person. My older brother constantly inspires me to keep creating and always wants what is best for me. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without him. There was a period in my life not too long ago where I had zero motivation/drive. He would check up on me from time to time but I would always create bullshit excuses because I just would not have the energy to start a project. Whether I am doing something big or doing nothing..he is always there to support me and I love him for that.
What's your name, age, and pronouns?
Jeffrey Armani Jackson-Perry, 20, he/him.
How would you describe yourself?
I am a fun, artistic person who loves to create.
What has prom traditionally represented in the queer community and how does it reflect society at large?
Prom was always the time for highschoolers to have fun with their friends and their dates, but traditionally these dates tended to be boy/girl. Society has pushed the idea that in most settings, boy/girl relations are “correct”. Who’s to say that it can’t be boy/boy, or girl/girl, or anything else for that matter? In all realness, it’s just a highschool party and I think prom is just about being yourself and having fun.
What is authentic love to you?
Authentic love is a love with no limits, a love with no boundaries. Authentic love is that deep connection you feel with someone and you love everything about them, flaws and all. That feeling when you just want to be around someone, and their presence is enough. Having the ability to be free with one another, expressing your true identity with one another, that’s authentic love.
If you were to give your younger self any advice what would it be?
If I were to give my younger self any advice I would say that it’s ok to be different. You’re cool just as you are and you don’t need reassurance from others to prove it. Just be yourself, unapologetically.
What's your name, age, and pronouns?
Koi King, 25, they/them.
How would you describe yourself?
I am an amalgamation of art, music, passion and freedom. A self constantly learning and evolving. An artiste.
What has prom traditionally represented in the queer community and how does it reflect society at large?
I think that prom has always been one of those things that’s unnecessarily nerve racking. I know of many queer folks that never went to prom because they couldn’t go with their partner, because it wasn’t safe for them to be out and attend in any manner that wasn’t the traditional cis-het expectation. Exclusion has always been something that people cling to for their own comfort and making simple things like prom inaccessible for queer youth is a reflection of what our society values. Exclusion in the face of difference. There are people that will argue against that, and so I ask what does our society think of our house-less population? The differently abled? The mentally ill?
How do you subvert binding traditions and normative structures?
I exist. And I do so loudly, and provide the space for others to do so. I am honest with myself, and the people around me. And I do whatever I want.
With so much of a celebratory nature surrounding Pride, especially by corporate America, many within the community have critiqued the lack of resources, collectives, and genuine opportunities that are shared during this time, in what ways would you like to see that combated?
I’d like to see pride for queer folks expressed all year round — not just during the month of June. I believe the best way to combat tokenism would be to include LGBTQ+ as you would cisgendered people. Whether that’s behind the scenes, on set, or in the office and not just project based. Providing a permanent seat at the table.
What's your name, age, and pronouns?
My name is Kye Quinlan, I’m 22 years old and I use she/her pronouns.
How would you describe yourself?
I would describe myself as a vibrant, genuine, and sexy person.
What has prom traditionally represented in the queer community and how does it reflect society at large?
I feel like prom means something different to everyone. I know for a lot of queer people that don’t have the safety to come out or openly express themselves, prom can be a source of anxiety. I would hope that in recent years, prom has transformed into a celebration for queer youth. I personally loved my prom! I was the gay prom king pre-transition vibes in Tampa, it was a gag.
What is authentic love to you?
Authentic love to me is love with no limits. For love to be truly authentic it needs to be unconditional through all the ups and downs of life.
What drives your method of creation forward?
My friends and the city inspire my creations into fruition. Being able to experience and love so many unique and beautiful trans people in the best city in the world gives me the imagination and courage to create authentically.
What's your name, age, and pronouns?
Hey! My name is Alex, I’m 22 years old, and my pronouns are they/them, she/her.
How would you describe yourself?
I'd describe myself as optimistic, lucky, hardworking and passionate.
What has prom traditionally represented in the queer community and how does it reflect society at large?
Prom to the queer community has always been a place to show off your authentic self in a safe space with not too much judgment. I wore a suit to prom and it was everything I had dreamed of since I first started high school. I didn't have to adhere to gendered clothing on a night I wanted to be free. I think society can be more accepting when it comes to what teens want to wear on a night that’s all about them. Wicked makeup and crazy cool hairstyles on a day that only comes around once. A chance to be more daring.
What support do you feel during pride that you wish could extend throughout the year?
I wish the space that the queer community gets during pride month was year round, this aura of acceptance and acknowledgment that we’re here and just like everybody else. Not special, just different. I definitely feel uncomfortable when I’m idolized for my sexuality and appearance so it'd be nice to feel the normalcy that I feel during June all the time.
What is authentic love to you?
I feel the most authentic love when I'm truly being an embracing individual with all of my ever-changing flaws, I improve myself everyday and with that comes challenging topics about self. I love myself the most when I'm truly accepting of all my traits, good or not so good, they make me who I am.
