Don't Speak When TWEAKS Is On
Influenced by an array of perspectives and randomness, TWEAKS has the range for music that she used to procure only for photography and modeling. Read our conversation with Zoé below, in which we discuss the freedom that comes with alter egos, Zoom calls with middle school teachers, and capitalistic quotes of productivity.
Who is TWEAKS? Where does she come from? We've gotta know!
TWEAKS doesn't feel like a huge separation from myself, I don't even think I gave it much thought. It started as a troll from my IG handle, but when I decided to put out music, it made sense to run with it. I’ve always liked pseudonyms for different moments. My friends and I have a habit of clowning each other and having nicknames for almost everything. Last summer, my drunk alter ego was “Scarlett Summer.”
At the time I was dressing a bit more femme which was a huge contrast from the year before where you wouldnt catch me in clothes that fit to my body. Everything X-Large. A lot of these personas reinforce my own idea of identity. It’s ever changing and always coming into itself. It almost feels like play-doh. I like mashing it up and destroying it just to put it back together again. I don’t have any strong attachments to the ways I present myself for that very reason. It’s always shifting. I’ll remember something from my childhood, a phase that I had or a video game that molded me and I start playing with that version of myself more. There are so many versions of ourselves we end up just forgetting about. It’s so much fun to remember. With the right perspective an alias can put you back into the mindset of rediscovering all the little you’s, the cute ones, angsty ones, cringy ones, all of ‘em. It also can get you back to just playing around more. I think creating under an “alter ego” facilitates more room for fun and games rather than taking shit too seriously. Zoé loves to play but TWEAKS lives for it.
What has inspired the art you put forth today?
A lot of things. I’ve been making music for my own ears for about 3 years now. My confidence in the medium grows everyday because I’ve spent so much time with it. It’s a very isolating process to be in your room, completely on your own working on a beat for 6+ hours. It gets ritualistic for sure. It’s made me really enjoy my alone time but also really gets me to soak in the time I spend with my loved ones. It’s two different types of fuels but they’re both equally important.
I have this practice with myself called “demo a day” and it’s basically a rule that I make a beat or record a demo each day. Some days I slip but I have like 140+ demos/ideas from 2020 alone. A lot of it is shit haha but it’s good to track progress. I have solid evidence of most of my days which is probably the most important thing to me. I've always been very serious about documentation.
You expressed that the tape stemmed from quarantine, but what were the initial movements that decided this needed to be created? And what was the motivation to keep going each day?
Sometimes I feel like I can’t get enough of my life down. Writing is the closest thing I get to feeling like I’ve captured every detail. Most of my fears revolve around missing out on my own life and documenting alleviates that anxiety. As long as I get a demo in, I'm free to do whatever I want. I can go out with friends, link with a shorty, pull up to the function but not until I get a demo out the way. It’s nice to have a stern relationship with something that I know is helping me get some insight on what's going on internally. A lot of emotions don’t particularly make sense in the moment but when I listen back, it’s so obviously clear what emotion or dilemma was trying to make its way through. It helps me see all my shit from an objective lens.
The next step is to find the resources to help that dilemma find some relief. “Demo a Day'' adds much needed structure to my life, which I need in general, but especially during quarantine. I made all these tracks, except for a deep cut I made a few years ago, in the four months of lockdown we had. It’s insane to see it all laid out. There were so many waves during quarantine. A little bit of ‘em all poke through this tape.
"Don’t Speak" has such a 90’s, saturated picture edit, hustling type movement. Where was your mind and energy at in the time of production?
That day I was soooo geeked about this beat challenge I got pulled into. A bunch of us make music so we basically host a massive Zoom call and play our tracks. We get a prompt and have to create a 10 minute track around it. It’s just a really good time and a lot of jokes which feels light in the midst of everything going on. There’s a middle school teacher in there who makes the sickest, darkest tracks. Just mind-blowing shit, really. Some of us are professionals, some novice, some in between but everyone brings something different. It’s really inspiring to see people making music for something as relaxed as a Zoom meeting each month.
Everything seems to be about creating content to fulfill some capitalistic quota of productivity. I shy away from anything that feels like I’m making it for an audience outside myself or my direct community. I don’t mind making things with others in mind but there needs to be a line drawn at some point or else you can get paralyzed with the fear of what people's reactions to your art will be. Then the fun of making something is just thrown out the window and I can’t afford that to happen with something like making music. In a lot of ways this is the only thing I really have. The beat challenge really helps me get into the mindset of just fucking around with music rather than assigning heavy pressure on myself to make something that’s gonna click with a ton of people. This tape might not click with a huge audience, but it’ll hit somewhere close to home for people who are sharing a similar experience as I am.
What was this round's challenge?
July’s challenge was to sample a #1 hit from the Billboard charts. I chose "Don’t Speak" and a power ballad by my Aries queen, Celine Dion. I was just really geeked to have a prompt and high off of Celline’s discography. She’s literally so sick and I don’t revisit her stuff often enough. But our beat challenge makes me feel like being in an elementary classroom again and having the morning prompt written on the board with 10 minutes on the clock. I think that’s why it's so fast haha. The Celine track I’m saving for our Zoom meeting—but I haven't shown them either track yet so I’m excited to see what they think. I think they’re gonna fuck with it.
What was the day of shooting like? Where did the inspiration come for this particular visual?
Waves. I had found out my best friend was on life support the morning of the shoot but we had been planning this shoot for weeks and there were a lot of heads on it so I decided to run it. Everyone on set that day were loved ones. Just all my best friends working the lights, camera, assisting. On every corner of the set was a homie. It was at my friend's house in the valley so some people on set were literally just drinking Modelos and taking dives in the pool. There were a lot of breaks. A lot of crying spells. A lot of jokes. I remember we ordered crab legs cause I really, really love crab legs. We ended up having a two day shoot. These are the photos from the first day. My friend passed a few days later. That was about a month ago. It’s nice to have documentation of that day. Sometimes I miss that specific moment in time because I had the peace of knowing she was breathing somewhere in a hospital while I was working. I named the tape after her. Videl means "life-giving."
Being this your first tape out, what feelings have you associated with the finished project compared to what you felt while making it?
While I was making the tape it was just something to pass the time. Originally it was supposed to be six tracks but then Jawni left and it got so much more personal. I’d feel ridiculous putting out something right now that didn’t involve the tracks I made as I’m grieving my friend. It feels complete and it sounds like me and the shit I like to listen to. I only care that it sounds and feels like the world I’m living in. I love my pocket of community. I want my tracks to reflect it.
What are we to expect from the artist TWEAKS in the future?
Please don’t expect anything, lol. I crumble under pressure. <3 I’ma keep making this music though and see where it takes me. It feels good to be in this craft. It teaches me something everyday. I’m grateful to know how to hit a key and come up with a track. Best gift ever to myself.
